if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
