I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
