That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize