The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
