Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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