did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This baby is an asshole
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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