honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
