How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
