are you still at the devil's house?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
