I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
