You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
