He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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