hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
