So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
