Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
