what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
