She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
