well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
