yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
