Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
