Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
