We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
