therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
