you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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