Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
