you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
