By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
