grandma shit on top of the toilet
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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