This is not my ceiling
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
