God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
