So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
