Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
