New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
