i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
