was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
