I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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