i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
