that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
