At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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