remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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