i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We need to get me chipped asap
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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