I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
