you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
