Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize