I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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