I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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