I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
