Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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