I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
