I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
