just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
