I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
