2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
