Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Say something about gay babies.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
