You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
