2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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