Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
