I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
not ubering you a puppy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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