He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
