Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
