There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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