I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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