I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
