dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
this is an emotional support booty call
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
