Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
