I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
