i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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