I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
