so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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