And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
