I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
