What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
