google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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