i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
