I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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