This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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