tonight lets celebrate not being married
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
