i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I could fuck to npr.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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