My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
