I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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